Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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