i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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