Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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