I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Of course I have a pirate flag
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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