So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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