is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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