we're blogging at a bar
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
