I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
