He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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