he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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