brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your thong is hanging out like whoa
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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