There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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