Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
