Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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