why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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