Too much gin, very little bucket
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
