Pappa wants mamma naked
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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