Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
only if we run a train.
done.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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