Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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