The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
third nipple confirmed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
