U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
