I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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