S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
