Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
