I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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