Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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