My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
