is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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