I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize