dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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