i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
