I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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