Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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I feel like death gave me a hand job
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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