you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
