hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure