i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize