If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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