shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize