We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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