you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
