I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize