When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
