p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize