would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
