Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
