i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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