I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize