before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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