and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
