btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
