At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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