similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
