My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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