reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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