im drinking this country out of the recession.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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