He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
birth control should be required to get into college
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
