Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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