Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
should my penis look like a turkey
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
