so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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