Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
