I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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